Judge David Johnson has Twinkle Isles of Langerhans.
Discover your inner sparkle.
From that dynamic mover and shaker in the theatrical animation world, Skechers, comes Twinkle Toes the timeless tale of a young girl with eyes the size of braising pans who overcomes her debilitating case of stage fright to save her charter school from the wrath of the state's legislators.
Grace "Twinkle Toes" Hastings, so nicknamed because she wears dumb shoes that sparkle…er, sorry Skechers…I mean hip footwear with tiny blinking glued-on lights. TT is a gifted dancer, but because of a crushing fear of performing in front of real people, her only audience is an anthropomorphic pet rabbit, which I'm pretty sure she's concocted from a fever dream.
Hallucination or not, this pal ultimately gives Grace the secret to dancing on stage in front of an audience (SPOILER! Pretend she's still dancing in her room!), and this freedom lands her a plum gig at an elite performing arts facility. Unfortunately, before she can realize her full potential, the governor of her state passes draconian budget cuts and wipes out the school's funding. So Grace and her friends come up with an idea to save the school which involves dancing, but I've already forgotten the specifics.
Anyhow, the biggest impediment to Grace's American Idol also-ran glory is a stuck-up arch rival dancer who snags video of her falling down, posts it on a social media site, and is promptly expelled because Grace's boyfriend pressures the principal to pull the trigger a zero-tolerance bullying rule. What happened to the kids' movie villain getting a wedding cake in the face as comeuppance?
By now you may have noticed I've spent the majority of my bandwidth detailing story because, frankly, I have very little to offer in the way of substantial criticism for Twinkle Toes. If the plot and characters sound stupid, it's because they are. And though the Skechers brand isn't shoved in your face, the lack of fierce advertising doesn't make up for the fact this 65 minute experience never once crawls beyond Completely Disposable Mediocrity, though occasionally flirting with This Is Some Weirdo Crap.
While Twinkle Toes is definitely not a movie designed for my enjoyment, it's so dopey and grating, I can't even see it appealing to the most dance-happy offspring of a Skechers executive.
No-frills DVD: standard definition 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 5.1 Surround, no extras.
Bring on the Keds movie!
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