All Rise...

Judge P.S. Colbert will never forget the St. Valentine's Day massacres of 1985, 1986, and 1987.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of The Untouchables (published March 2nd, 2001), The Untouchables: Special Edition (published October 18th, 2004), The Untouchables: Season 1, Volume 1 (published June 13th, 2007), The Untouchables: Season 4, Volume 1 (published August 2nd, 2012), The Untouchables: Season 1, Volume 2 (published October 17th, 2007), The Untouchables: Season 2, Volume 2 (published August 26th, 2008), and The Untouchables: Special Collector's Edition (HD DVD) (published September 13th, 2007) are also available.

The Charge

"The Gangland's All Here."

The Case

Before they were stars:

* Robert Redford (Sneakers) was Jackson Emmit Parker, a cheeky young Ivy Leaguer, fresh out of college, and ready to school Frank Nitti (Bruce Gordon) on the finer points of bootlegging. Nitti was not amused.

* Robert Duvall (Apocalypse Now) was Eddie Moon, a cornet blower whose hot jazz proves irresistible to the wife of a murderous gangster. The wife in question was played by Kathleen Nolan (The Real McCoys), who certainly knew a thing or two about proving irresistible.

* Rip Torn (Men in Black) was Johnny Mizo, a psychotic hood holding his own family hostage, while the Feds vie with mobsters to find him first. The Feds prefer to take him alive.

* Jack Klugman (Quincy, M.E.) was Solly Girsch, a self-deprecating schlemiel that ends up becoming this biggest bootleg booze distributor in the crime capital of America. But how? Klugman's Jekyll and Hyde performance is a thing of extraordinary beauty.

These are but a fraction of the characters making trouble for The Untouchables during the last sixteen episodes of the series' fourth and final season.

• "The Snowball"
• "Jake Dance"
• "Blues For A Gone Goose"
• "Globe Of Death"
• "An Eye For An Eye"
• "Junk Man"
• "The Man In The Cooler"
• "The Butcher's Boy"
• "The Spoiler"
• "One Last Killing"
• "The Giant Killer"
• "The Charlie Argos Story"
• "The Jazz Man"
• "The Torpedo"
• "Line Of Fire"
• "A Taste For Pineapple"

Paramount's quality control department deserves a twenty one gun salute for the near pristine look of these standard definition 1.33:1 full frame transfers, all in glorious black and white. Kudos for the Dolby 2.0 Mono mix, necessitating precious little work on my part with the remote; amazing for episodes creeping up on their 50th anniversary. English SDH subtitles are available and always much appreciated. There is the ever-present "Previews" option (standard issue for Paramount TV series releases), but still no extras. Then again, who needs extras when you've got a set of stories this well told?

My personal favorite is the one where Eliot Ness (Robert Stack, 1941) assumes the identity of a junkie jazz bassist, in order to trace the source of a huge opiates shipment coming into Chicago from out of state. Our boy goes whole hog, dressing for the part (Spats, Bow Tie, Straw Boater) and accepting a gig at the Purple Elephant club in New Orleans, all without so much as a single lesson on the big four string fiddle!

In related news, I just may have traced the original source of inspiration for Milli Vanilli.

The Verdict

Eliot, Lee, Rico, Youngfellow, Rossman. Much love. Much respect.

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