All Rise...

Judge David Johnson was once nominated for an adult film award. He lost. He doesn't want to talk about it.

The Charge

Television will never be the same!

Opening Statement

Troma's excavated another slice of cult schlock for your viewing pleasure with this release. Video Vixens, proudly displays the "Mr. Skin Pick to Click" tag on the DVD case, you can probably know what to expect from this one: more trash than you can shake a stick at. Just think about that for a while. That's a lot of trash!

Facts of the Case

Fed up with his perceived world of puritanical oppression, a TV producer enlists the aid of a sleazy porno director named Rex Boorski (George "Buck" Flower) to push the boundaries of decency on national television. To do this, they decide to put on the first ever Stag Film Awards Show, and broadcast it and all of its raunchy content to the unsuspecting populace.

Well-known, uptight movie reviewer Gordon Gordon (Harrison Phillips) is tapped to host the program, though he is reluctant to partake in such smut. But the show must go on, and it does, as the majority of the film is taken up by the faux awards show, complete with commercials and clips. Twenty-six breasts ensue.

The Evidence

Video Vixens is directed by "Ronald Sullivan," the alias of smut auteur Henri Pachard, director of such heartwarming epics like Long Hard Nights, Supergirls Do General Hospital, Swedish Erotica 84, and that beloved classic Who Shaved Lynn LeMay?. He brings his erotic sensibilities to this 1975 endeavor, originally branded an X rating. It's been downgraded to an R, but seriously, that's a debatable maneuver. Here's what you can expect in this no holds barred sex comedy: rape jokes, dildo commercials, an obese milkman whipping a girl into submission, and full frontal nudity galore (male and female). There's nothing hardcore per se, but the flick certainly toes the boundary.

Above all, Video Vixens fashions itself as a comedy, not an erotic film to be taken seriously. Once the awards show unfolds, what follows is a string of flesh-soaked skits that vary between obscene and tasteless (every single one of the rape gags) to slightly amusing and tasteless (I can't even mention the name of the deodorant used in one of the commercials). I think the laughs will come just out of the "can you believe they did that?!?" reactions; if this film entertains you it will be because of the shock and ewwwww approach.

As a comedy, then, Video Vixens isn't really that funny or clever. But as a bit of low-brow subversive satire, there may be something to it, considering it was made in a far less-sexed-saturated era than we live in now. Gordon Gordon personifies the lampooning that the film is after. He is the obligatory "stiff" character, the no-nonsense guy who wants to zilch to do with the awards show. In fact, some of the funniest stuff is watching the guy squirm as he hands out awards for bondage films; his sweaty, squeaky-voiced delivery is perfect fodder for the juxtaposition, and the easily predictable payoff for the character is made even loonier. But a special bonus needs to be awarded to George "Buck" Flower, who takes slack-jawed sleaze-slinger to a new level, and, unfortunately, is none too intimidated to bare all.

Pachard has stacked his film with all kinds of sleaze icons: Angela Carnon, Robyn Hilton (the governor's blonde bimbo from Blazing Saddles), and Terri Johnson. As Mr. Skin himself attests to in his bonus interview, their presence elevates the film to a high standard for those interested in retro nudity (no silicone to be found here).

The picture quality is okay, transmitted in the usual full frame with varying degrees of success. The quality craps the bed in a few spots, but in general the transfer survives. Extras include the Mr. Skin interview where he lets loose on the notable nudity and gives you a final count of body parts exposed, a bonus erotic scene from Troma's The First Turn-on, trailers and book spots, a behind-the-scenes look at Troma casting, and the "Sapphic Hall of Fame," which I'll let you discover for yourself.

Closing Statement

Video Vixens is weird, devoid of taste, crammed with crazy amounts of skin, not very funny, yet not entirely unwatchable: yep, it's a Troma!

The Verdict

The accused is sentenced to solitary confinement with a bottle of Nair.

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