Yes, Judge Dylan Charles, there is a Santa Claus...and he's ticked off.
Our review of Bam Margera Presents: Where The #$&% Is Santa? (Blu-Ray), published December 18th, 2008, is also available.
Bam Margera celebrates Christmas like never before…in your face!
Bam Margera and his friends decide they're going to Lapland, Finland to fetch the real Santa Claus as a Christmas gift to his wife. Along the way, they meet up with various Finnish rockers. And that's pretty much it. Mr. Margera made his claim to fame on a skateboard apparently and joined the show Jackass. That's about all I know about him.
I've avoided the Jackass TV show and the ensuing movies. I am in no way, shape or form the intended audience for that kind of television programming. I want you, the reader, to keep this in mind during the following review.
Where the #$&% is Santa? is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. It makes The Three Stooges look dignified by comparison. This is a collection of drunken folks doing terrible things to each other. I have seen things, terrible things, which I wish I could scour from my brain. And I plan to do so with an SOS pad and a quart of bleach as soon as I'm done with this review.
There's a lot of drinking and a lot of painful and humiliating stunts, including, but not limited to: the eating of a reindeer eyeball, riding a pine tree its way down, chasing each other with lit roman candles, unspeakable things done with severed reindeer penises and not one, but two scenes of one guy crapping.
There's also the plot of Mr. Margera trying to find and secure the Finnish Santa Claus, but this just seems like an excuse for a trip to Finland so they can meet Finnish rockers, get drunk and run around giving Americans in general a reputation for being drunken asses.
There are a few extras. Twenty minutes worth of extended scenes and outtakes which just filled me with everlasting joy. And a photo gallery. And that's pretty much it.
Once again, 90 minutes of people trying to out jackass each other ain't my thing. I'm guessing that if you enjoy the Jackass show and movies, you'll derive some enjoyment from it. But for every other human being on the planet, stay very far away.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Warner Bros.
• Outtakes and Additional Scenes
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