Judge Daryl Loomis refuses to date anyone older than Wrestlemania.
The biggest Wrestlemania ever!
Not really, but that's WWE's tagline for their latest installment of the most important pay-per-view of the year. It's more like the most bloated Wrestlemania ever; it looked like it on paper, so I declined to order the show for the first time in nearly a decade, and I'm glad I did. It's worse in reality than it was on paper, and Wrestlemania XXVII is genuinely one of the worst Wrestlemanias the company has ever aired. Looking at the contents of the show, it's pretty easy to see why.
WWE opens their event with none other than The Rock talking and talking and talking. While we listen to him recycle a 15-year-old series of catch phrases, I wondered why he couldn't have had some stupid comedy to promote instead of appearing at Wrestlemania. Worse yet, he's the special guest something-or-other for the night, so we can expect to see him ruin a lot more segments.
Match 1: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
Match 2: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
Match 3: Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella, and Kofi Kingston vs. The
Match 4: Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
Match 5: Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Match 6: Triple H vs. The Undertaker
Match 7: Trish Stratus, John Morrison, Snooki vs. LayCool and Dolph
Match 8: The Miz vs. John Cena
Featuring only eight matches on a four hour card may make unwitting fans believe that there are some great long matches on the show. Sadly, there's only one match that's of any decent length. Two matches combine for about five total minutes of ring action. The announcers match is one of the worst segments in Wrestlemania history and also one of the longer matches on the card. Even the good matches are kept under twenty minutes. This Wrestlemania will not be known for its technically sound bouts or high flying spectaculars; it will be known for its horrendous skits and interminable ring entrances.
Production-wise, the DVD for Wrestlemania XXVII is up to their usual high standard, but I have a big beef with one aspect. The anamorphic image looks great and the sound design is basically identical to their pay-per-view broadcast, so that's all fine. Again, I didn't see the show myself until now, but I read a number of recaps. In the main event, the crowd turns on long-time babyface John Cena, with prodigious boos raining down from his entrance to his final spots in the match. This happens; wrestling fans have the right to cheer who they please. You would never know this, though, if the DVD was the only impression of the show, because WWE has changed the audio to reflect how they believe fans should react to Cena. It's far from the first time they've done this, but I still hate it. It's just another case of Vince McMahon thinking he knows the fans better than they know themselves and making wrestling worse every year. I thought that I was to receive the Collector's Edition of the event, with a third disc of extras, but we were sent the regular, cheaper edition. In the end, I'm happy about that, because that third disc only has the complete WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony and some clips from Raw to help explain the angles, none of which I wanted to watch anyway.
The combined ring entrances for the Undertaker/Triple H and Cena/Miz bouts are longer than most of the matches on the card. The main event alone is nearly seventeen minutes of garbage while they get to the ring. I'm so happy I didn't waste seventy bucks on this show; if it's not the worst Wrestlemania in history, it's certainly the biggest ripoff. From subpar ring work to some of the worst skits since the '80s, I can't see any self-respecting wrestling fan agreeing to lay down cash for this.
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