All Rise...

This DVD was in Spanish and there were no subtitles or anything. Judge David Johnson's grasp of the language is: "Yo Quiero Taco Bell." Find out what happens next by clicking the review!

The Charge

Que'?

The Case

This just may be the shortest review I ever write. It's not because I'm burning out or have lodged into a rut or anything. No, it's just that this Yoga DVD is entirely in Spanish, with no translation or subtitles available. So, no, I have no @#$%^&$ clue what's going on.

Here is about how deep I was able to penetrate the language barrier: your host is Christi Idavoy, an expert instructor in dance, aerobics, and kick-boxing, certified in the Aerobics Fitness Association of America and is ridiculously flexible. Like, linguini-flexible.

The first 15 minutes or so introduces Idavoy where she talks—presumably—about the workout. I don't know. I couldn't understand a word of it. Apparently, this particular routine blends the stretching of yoga with the calorie-burning boo-yah! of aerobics. Hence the "Yogobica" title. The remainder of the time has Idavoy running through three separate workouts, set in three different settings: the beach, a field, and a jungle-like area that's probably 20 feet from the beach in the first work-out. All the while, funky music is playing, and Idavoy incessantly narrates in Spanish.

To be fair, I guess you don't have to be bilingual to enjoy this DVD, as the routines are fairly straightforward (and, by the way, impressively strenuous—how do you say "Holy f***, I think I just split my groin in two!" in Spanish?). Just watch and do, right?

However, I wonder what it was Idavoy was saying in the voice-over. As long as it wasn't "And for the love of God, when positioning your body like this do not clench your left thigh, or you will severely and irreparably damage your spinal column!" you should be okay.

Sixty minutes of hard-core stretching, set against picturesque landscapes and supplemented by New Age riffs and Spanish chatter. Do with it what you will.

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