All Rise...

Judge Patrick Naugle's life is like a B-movie double feature.

Editor's Note

Our review of The Bela Lugosi Collection, published September 26th, 2005, is also available.

The Charge

Terror comes in many forms.

The Case

I present to you one of the most stupefying and dull films ever created: The Dunwich Horror. How could the filmmakers have taken a story by writer H.P. Lovecraft—a man so terrifying historians think he may have secretly been Cthulhu—and create such a limp piece of film stock? This is doubly disappointing since the poster art is fantastic (seriously, look at the Blu-ray cover and try to tell me the artist didn't make The Dunwich Horror look like all kids of awesome).

Everything about The Dunwich Horror lives up to its name: this is a horrible movie that is bogged down by the trappings of the 1960s; the fashions, hairstyles, and language is so dated that you almost expect Austin Powers to walk out and introduce himself. I doubt it will come as a surprise to anyone that The Dunwich Horror was produced by Roger Corman, king of the B-movies, and a man who never met a budget he couldn't slash. The story concerns Dr. Henry Armitage (Ed Begley, star of 12 Angry Men and father of actor Ed Begley, Jr.), who is an expert on all things otherworldly, who treks to the Whateley mansion to find a missing college student, Nancy Wagner (Sandra Dee, Imitation of Life). The heir of the Whateley family fortune is Wilbur (Dean Stockwell, Quantum Leap), who has insidious plans for Nancy that may just bring about the end of existence as we know it. Cue the scary music.

Not a single actor come off well in The Dunwich Horror. Dean Stockwell is kinda wimpy as the mysterious Wilbur (let's be honest: the guy even has a wimpy name), who ends up being the film's main antagonist. This is bad news because Stockwell has all the menace of soft serve ice cream cone. Sandra Dee—known mostly for her role as the summer loving Gidget—is ineffective as the fertile Nancy Walker. Sandra Dee is almost as bland as Stockwell and can't inject even a modicum of interest into her character. Two of Hollywood's golden age characters actors, Sam Jaffe (Gunga Din) and Ed Begley (in his final screen appearance), add little to the proceedings.

The Dunwich Horror's biggest failing is that it's shockingly boring. I can't recall a time when I've found so little to like about a horror movie. Director Daniel Haller (who also helmed the equally bad Boris Karloff dud Die, Monster, Die!) frames everything in the least interesting way possible; it's as if someone forgot to tell everyone this is supposed to be a horror movie. A titular "Dunwich horror" (AKA the monster) does eventually show up, but it's so shoddily framed and vanishes as fast as it arrived that I have no idea what it was, though my best guess is latex snakes and cheap prosthetics.

I've talked enough about The Dunwich Horror, which should be avoided at all costs. Now let's talk about Murders in the Rue Morgue, which I'm sad to report is even less exciting, if you can believe it.

Murders in the Rue Morgue is technically based on the Edgar Allen Poe story of the same name, though it doesn't follow the original story very closely. In fact, as the film opens actors are performing a (more or less) Grand Guignol version of Poe's story on a theatrical stage. The film then shifts into the main plot, which is more akin to Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera than anything Poe wrote. The director of the stage show, Cesar Charron (Jason Robards, Parenthood), has a wife, Madeline (Christine Kaufmann), whose mother (Lilli Palmer) was done in by an axe murderer. Suddenly a former lover of Madeline's mother, Rene Marot (Herbert Lom, The Pink Panther Strikes Again), shows up to complicate things; Rene had been considered long dead after being horribly disfigured in a theater accident. Rene's return comes with bloodshed and mayhem as he systematically starts murdering the members of the acting troupe for his own sinister reasons.

I can't begin to tell you how long and tedious Murders in the Rue Morgue is. The film isn't so much a horror movie as it is a poorly produced period film punctuated by a few random killings that never rise above the level of absolute mediocrity. Not a single character grabbed my attention; while I recognized some faces (especially Lom and Robards), I found myself rooting for the killer to do everyone in his power to make the movie would end.

Since the killer looks and acts just like the Phantom of the Opera, I'm perplexed as to why Gordon Hessler (The Golden Voyage of Sinbad) or the studio heads decided to call this Murders in the Rue Morgue. Horror fans will be disappointed at the lack of scary moments, and the effects work is basically a lot of bright red stage blood and dry ice (to give the illusion of acid eating away a face). The best thing I can say about the film is that there are a few moments where the filmmakers give it a sufficiently gothic feel; creepy old houses and darkened corridors are plentiful in the film. Still, those moments are few and far between. Murders in the Rue Morgue is just like its title denotes: the film is D.O.A.

Murders in the Rue Morgue / The Dunwich Horror (Blu-ray) is presented in 1.78:1 widescreen in 1080p high definition. I commend Scream Factory on giving these two duds decent transfers, even if they don't deserve them. There are a few minor imperfections in each transfer, though its never enough to distract for the viewing. I'd say that Murders in the Rue Morgue looks slightly better, though not by a large margin. The soundtrack for each film is presented in DTS-HD 1.0 Master Audio mono in English. Both films sport completely front heavy mixes without any directional effects or surround sounds. Also included are English subtitles.

Bonus features on The Dunwich Horror include an audio commentary with historian Steve Haberman and a theatrical trailer, while Murders in the Rue Morgue includes another commentary with historian Steve Haberman, a short featurette ("Stage Tricks & Screen Fright"), and a theatrical trailer for the film.

Neither The Dunwich Horror nor Murders in the Rue Morgue are very good movies. Both films suffer from the same malady: they aren't the least bit scary.

The Verdict

Poor examples of 1970s horror.

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