All Rise...

Appellate Judge Patrick Bromley is a connoisseur of schlock in the highest order.

The Charge

No man on earth could get him out of prison alive. Seven women did.

The Case

Hired to Kill is one of the most '80s action movies ever made, which is ironic considering it was released in 1990. Perhaps this can be explained by the fact that it is co-directed by Greek filmmaker Nikolas Mastorakis, the man responsible for the 1976 incest-and-goat-murder opus Island of Death. Like a number of Europeans working in genre cinema in the 1980s, Mastorakis is attempting to approximate an American action film but can only filter it through his weird sensibilities. The result is an action film that feels like it was made by martians raised solely on a diet of '80s action movies.

Brian Thompson (the villain in Cobra, plus The Terminator and Fright Night Part II) plays mercenary Frank Ryan, who is sent by his handler (George Kennedy of Cool Hand Luke in what amounts to a glorified cameo) to go undercover as a fashion photographer alongside seven female "models" to free an imprisoned rebel leader being held in a South American jail by the villainous Michael Bartos (Oliver Reed sporting a comically enormous mustache). Guns are fired. Swimsuits are worn.

Recast Oliver Reed with Erik Estrada and Hired to Kill might as well be an Andy Sedaris movie—it's just as silly, sleazy and oversized to the point of becoming self parody. But removing Reed from the film would be to excise one of its greatest pleasures, and that is his ridiculously hammy performance as the Big Bad. Reed is an actor who already has a tendency to go "big" even in his best work; here, working in a low-budget action movie with a filmmaker (or filmmakers) unwilling to reign him in, he is positively unleashed. As the movie's hero, Brian Thompson certainly knows his way around an action movie but still feels miscast—his thick features and voice so deep it sounds like it's been electronically modulated are still better suited for bad guy parts. But even this incongruity adds to the movie's charm.

Like a lot of low-budget action, the movie's biggest struggle is in delivering the goods. It's almost an hour into the film before any of the action really starts. Prior to that it's a lot of setup: introducing the women posing as models, showing the characters establishing their cover, numerous montages of the women having their pictures taken in beach wear. Thankfully, the screenplay by Mastorakis, Fred Perry and Kirk Ellis is full of hard boiled tough guy dialogue on steroids—it is overwrought and endlessly quotable. Hired to Kill is the kind of movie that's special because it commits so fully to being what it is in its every facet. It is bad, but it is bad in such a way that it feels wholly of a piece.

Arrow's new 4K restoration of Hired to Kill demonstrates the incredible work we've come to expect from the company, taking a film that's otherwise forgotten and making it look brand new and pristine. There are no signs of aging or defects; colors are vivid and bright, skin tones are natural, fine detail is excellent throughout. The lossless 5.1 audio track offers clean dialogue in the front and center channel and handles the action effects well. The original mix on the movie is a little clumsy to begin with, but Arrow's Blu-ray brings out the best in it. Editor Barry Zetlin offers a feature-length commentary over the movie, while co-director Mastorakis and star Brian Thompson both sit down for brand new interviews for this edition. The three supplements together provide a good overview of the film's production and its place in film history. Also included in the extra features are a gallery of still images, the original theatrical trailer, a standard definition DVD copy and a booklet with an essay on the film.

I'm not a believer in movies being "so bad they're good," but if such a categorization existed in the cinematic dictionary there would be a picture of Hired to Kill right next to it. I completely understand why Arrow would put this out, as it's a movie that fans of genre cinema should absolutely see. A movie like this that bungles so many of the tropes we've come to expect from an action movie—but which does so in a way that's totally sublime—serves as both a critique of the action genre and a reminder of just why we love these movies in the first place.

The Verdict

A first-rate presentation of a movie that's wonderfully second-rate.

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