All Rise...

Judge Patrick Naugle don't like spiders or snakes.

The Charge

Once this motion picture sinks its fangs into you, you'll never be the same!

The Case

Like Nazis and vampires, snakes are one of cinema's most durable of movie monsters. From attacking Jennifer Lopez in Anaconda to making Samuel L. Jackson fed up with those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane, the slithering beasties can give just about anyone the willies. In fact, snakes may be the oldest of all villains since one of them tempted Eve with an apple in the Garden of Eden (if memory serves, that snake was played by Gary Busey, but I may be wrong).

Viewers who have a fearful aversion to cold-blooded reptiles will want to stay far away from the 1973 horror film Sssssss (yes, that's it's actual title). Strother Martin (Cool Hand Luke) plays Dr. Carol Stoner, a herpetologist who deals in any and every kind of snake. Stoner's newest assistant is young David Blake (Dirk Benedict, The A-Team), who begins to fall for Stoner's attractive young daughter, Kristina (Heather Menzies, The Sound of Music). As David continues his work at the lab, he's given injections by Dr. Stoner, who tells David they're to help keep him safe in the event of a venomous snake bite him. This sounds plausible to David, but the truth is far more sinister: Stoner is actually out of his mind and slowly turning David into a half man / half snake monster!

While this 1973 Universal Studios monster movie effort is pretty bad at being a good movie, it's actually pretty good and being a B-movie. Any film that deals with man tampering with mother nature and turning their lab assistants into horrible snake people can't possibly be that bad. Sssssss features a fine, underrated performance by Strother Martin as the doctor who is convinced humanity is on its way out—so let's turn it into snake people just for fun! Dirk Benedict does a nice job of playing the handsome hero during the first half of the movie, and a green snake monster in the last half. It's a not a very taxing role, though he certainly seems to be enjoying having his shirt off for most of the film. Shame a lot of his skin is covered in scales.

The highlight of Sssssss is, not surprisingly, the make-up effects work by John Chambers (Planet of the Apes) and Nick Marcellino. While certainly rather quaint by today's standards, the snake monsters look kinda-sorta cool, even if they seem to be a cross between the Jolly Green Giant and Telly Savalas. I want to temper expectations (*spoiler alert*) because at no point do either of the two "snake monsters" go on a rampage or terrorize the town; the scariest thing about them is that they seem to have forgotten to moisturize. Mostly, Sssssss is filled with garden variety snakes, which end up being the real menace; one scene involves Dr. Stoner slipping a Black Mamba into the shower of a victim and watching him slowly die from the venom. After watching this, you may want to switch over to baths.

Sssssss (Blu-ray) is presented in 1.85:1 widescreen in 1080p high definition. Scream Factory has done a great job with this title, giving it a solid transfer especially considering its age. Colors and black levels appear solid and there are very few defects or imperfections in the image. The soundtrack is presented in DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Stereo in English. While this audio track is a solid reproduction of the original Stereo track, there are few if any directional effects or surround sounds. Also included on this disc are English subtitles.

Extra features include a new interview with actor Dirk Benedict ("My Reptilian Past") and Heather Menzies ("The Herpetologist's Daughter") and the theatrical trailer.

Sssssss is hardly the definitive killer snake movie, but as a late night romp you could do worse. There's little gore or true horror in the film, but those who want to see a plethora of snakes will enjoy this reptilian diversion. Scream Factory has done a nice job with this title, offering up solid audio and video and a few decent extra features.

The Verdict

ThiSssssss is a fine Friday night time waster.

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